Monday, February 22, 2010

Flying on a plane


was flying to DC last week and noticed everyone sitting comfortably on the plane. Some people were reading, a few were sleeping, and others were talking. A child was crying in the back. However, everyone seemed to be in a state of harmony.


I had an epiphany at that moment.


Somehow, whenever we are on a plane, we allow someone else to run our life. 


Albeit, it is for just a few hours. 


I have yet to see a passenger get up and yell out "Hey! Can you hurry up? I have to be somewhere."


Somehow, we manage to stay put and accept our situation.



 Wouldn't it be awesome if we learned to apply this little used skill of acceptance to all areas of our life?

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Enjoy a cold

After a hectic week, . I started sneezing incessantly and my throat was scratchy.

In order to continue working, I tried to delay my cold as much as I could.

I inhaled Emergen-C, drank lots of water and ate ginger ( a wonderful, natural cold reliever).

However, after a couple of days the cold symptoms recurred. My nose was running again and my body ached. A slight, emotional discomfort with my state of being accompanied the physical symptoms.

Instead of resting, I kept myself busy. I started vacuuming and dusting every table as if to prove to myself that I am feeling great.

A few hours later I was physically and emotionally exhausted.

So, I made the most natural choice.

I decided to go out and watch a movie with my family.

As I was getting ready, a little voice at the back of my head whispered "Enjoy the cold."

My mind  reacted to this bizarre thought by uttering:

' How the heck do you enjoy a cold?"

Again the voice whispered: " Relax and Rest."

Hmmmm. Interesting. My body seemed to love this idea.

So, I backtracked, canceled my plans for the movie, fluffed  some pillows and rested for a long time.

As the incessant sneezing continued, the general emotional discomfort subsided and was replaced by a general feeling of wellness.

Strangely, falling sick was the best thing that happened to me.

So, the next time you fall sick, just relax and enjoy the nice, little break.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Seductive Power of Rejection.

How does  rejection affect you?

Whether it's a college rejection letter or a failed marriage, when rejection enters your life, it's unexpected and unbearably painful.

Most of you have an in-built system that keeps repeating "Please accept me. Please! Please! Please."


Most of the time, it's a soft, nagging voice stuck in the back of your head.

Occasionally its a loud siren that blares with repetitive intensity, "Rejected, Rejected by __________  (partner, close friend, parent etc.) Please prepare for emergency meltdown."

Your body goes into crisis mode, ready to attack or retreat (depending on your defense mechanism).

Eventually, the opposing values of a deep yearning for acceptance and a crazy fear of rejection result in repeated rejection from work, marriage and family.

So, how can you break the cycle of rejection?

1. Ask yourself -What triggers my emergency meltdowns?  

Identify the specific people, places or situations that tend to bring on this blown out-of-proportion reaction from you. Once you have identified the triggers, write them down somewhere so that you are aware of them.



2. Show more love towards yourself. 

Treat yourself with the love you desire. Every time you feel rejected make sure to do the small things that make you feel whole and complete.

E.g. Lie down, Rest, Drink water, Eat your favorite food, Meditate, Talk to a loving, supportive friend, Take a walk, Get some fresh air, Dance, Sing. Anything that reminds you that you are 'so worth being accepted.'

3. Demonstrate absolute self-acceptance whenever you can.


Whenever you notice that you are fighting your own feelings. Don't. In essence, when you fight your own feelings you are rejecting yourself. Instead listen to your feelings and thoughts. Be as loving and compassionate towards your own 'rejecting, critical thoughts' as you would want someone else to be towards you when you are having a difficult time.

Good luck !

Friday, January 29, 2010

The beginning of infidelity

Ask yourself the questions below to find out if you are developing a strong (potentially dangerous) attraction outside your romantic relationship.

1. Am  I honest in my  thoughts?
2. Who do I look forward to seeing every day?
3. Do I experience fleeting attractions that last less than a minute or do my thoughts linger on one person?

Whether you are married, in a relationship or single, attractions are a part of life. Attractions are normal. And unconscious. Unless, you choose to make them conscious. Being aware of your thinking is the best way to become more deliberate in your actions. Fleeting thoughts about other attractive people are nothing to be concerned about. However, if you frequently and intensely think about someone else while in a commited relationship, it's a sure sign of trouble.

Notice what your thoughts are saying.

For example:

"She was smelling so good the other day."
" I would like to have coffee with him more often. He listens so attentively to me."
" I wish she would look up from her computer."

Yes, your mind talks. It says things you might choose to ignore. But tuning in to your thoughts can help you respond, instead of react. Thinking intensely about someone else is usually a symptom of a problem in your primary relationship.


The sooner you know where your thoughts are leading you, the easier it is to take action to reactivate and revitalize an existing relationship.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Human connection

It was 5'o clock in the evening and my mind was focused on food. I walked into a deli to find a man with a long, white beard and piercing blue eyes sitting in the corner. I had noticed his presence before. Always gazing outside at the cars driving by and absent-mindedly drinking out of a large paper cup. He always sat at the same table. A large cloth bag accompanied him on the floor.

Today, I chose to smile at him. He smiled back. For a moment, the Loneliness that emanated from his eyes disappeared. I felt deep, heartfelt compassion for him during this fleeting encounter.

 Life is the most joyous and meaningful when you experience a spiritual connection with another human being. It is the reflection of the Divine within.

Make a point to connect with others. The cashier at the grocery store, the mailman, the person who opens the door for you.  Feel your soul connect with another when you say a 'heartfelt "hi"' or smile with your eyes.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The totality of consciousness

Life is not about you. At all. It's about everyone else. 

Look around you. Look at your surroundings. If life was just about you, why would everyone else exist?
As I was driving down the highway this morning, I noticed the traffic around me. I was surrounded by cars. 

As I observed the traffic, I realized that everyone had a story (a life situation), just like me. 

So, why was it that my story mattered more than anyone else's? 

Ask yourself the same question:

Why does my story (my life situation) matter more than someone else's story?

Why do I choose to focus all my attention on my life, rather than someone else's? 

As I sat with this question, I chose to bless every car around. As I blessed (for one blissful moment),  I experienced the Oneness of us all.

Monday, January 25, 2010

The joy of abandonment

Love is a roller coaster.  Just when you think you have it all figured out and are soaring along, suddenly you think everything is falling apart.  Your instinctive reaction is to hold on for fear of losing the person you hold dearest to your heart. 

Fear of abandonment can set fire to the most joyous relationships. If you are someone who feels abandoned often, it is highly likely you have an unconscious belief such as  "he/she doesn't care about me, "  or "he/she is interested in someone else" etc that is impeding true spiritual connection in your most intimate relationship. 


Sit down in a quiet and comfortable place and ask yourself, 


'How can I be feel more safe and whole in my relationship?'


The answer to this question alone will help you recognize your pattern and learn to respond with love when you are feeling unloved.